Ups and Downs

Michael is a week old as of yesterday!!  Crazy how fast that went by.  He is definitely gaining weight and plumping up.  He sleeps a couple hours at a time at night and seems to have 2 hours of complete alertness between 2am and 4am that is draining me...but it is so sweet with his gorgeous eyes staring up at me that I am trying to enjoy it.

Jessica (our doula) came by today for our follow up and gave us a copy of our timeline of our birth and some great pictures.  Just love having them to treasure.  On the other hand knowing it was our last visit with her is pretty sad.  I am so envious of her job...how great to do something you are so passionate about.

Still spending way more time crying than I think is normal...but trying to take life one day at a time.  Still trying to figure out what I want to do with my life.  I need a job/hobby.

Today is our first day alone and we are all dressed and fed...that's half the battle right?  4 more hours and Mike is home.

Contemplating the possibility of moving back to Virginia or closer to it. 

Sigh...

Off to nurse, change a diaper, and call my momma...hopefully some lunch for me at sometime.

Ahh hormones

So after mild ppd after Loralei and after both miscarriages, you'd think I would have felt this one coming.  The endless tears.  The meaningless life.  The homesickness.  The loneliness.  Sigh.  My little baby is here and is just perfect.  Isn't that what I sat up and prayed for night after night?  So why the tears?

I am hoping it will pass quickly like it did with Loralei and I will begin to look forward to things again.

I hope the feelings I am having are hormonal and not some greater realization that I need more than being a mommy and a wife.  I have thought about things I could do that I would get joy from since the income side of it isn't an issue at the moment.  Maybe I will look into being a LLL leader.  I would love to do some Airedale rescue but just not possible with small children and un tested dogs.
I wish we lived closer to family.  Just sitting in my mom's living room watching sunday football sounds heavenly.  Or maybe a Wegmans run with my dad.  Why does it have to be so impossibly expensive to live near them.  My choice seems to be being home with my kids or working but being near family.  Sign.

Sorry for the vent.  Hoping for sunnier skies tomorrow.

On a happy note, Michael had newborn pictures done yesterday and they are going to be fabulous!!!  I can't wait to share them.  I can't believe he is about 12 hours away from being a week old.  This time last week labor was just really getting my full attention.  Seems like just hours ago but also like a lifetime has passed.

A few quick pictures

Just wanted to post a few quick pictures.  Michael is doing great and goes tomorrow for his first dr. appt. and some newborn screenings.  He is nursing like a champ!!

Mommy and daddy and big sister are all doing well and getting lots of rest and enjoying the beautiful fall weather!

Linda came today and checked on us and it was so amazing to be checked on without leaving the house.  Homebirth totally rocks!! 

Michael is Here!!!

Michael finally showed up on 10/4/10 at 41 weeks 5 days.  He is 9lbs and 22inches and just perfect.  Labor started around midnight on the 3rd but was very mild and manageable until about 8pm that night.  Mike and I walked the neighborhood and then came home and camped out in our room.  Things were definitely picking up but I was still in good spirits between contractions.  At about 11:00 I started getting very emotional during contractions and decided it was time to call our fabulous doula Jessica.  She arrived around midnight and things were really progressing.  My MIL was just perfect and bringing me food and drinks and offering any support someone can give to a laboring woman and Jessica was a warm reassuring support when i thought i was losing control.  At some point around 1 am Jessica decided it was time to call our midwife Linda (thank goodness she had that insite), and she arrived around 2.  By this point i was feeling a ton of pressure in my tail bone that hurt like crazy.  I thought for sure i couldn't do anymore, but everyone kept telling me i could.  I finally had Linda check me (my first check the whole pregnancy) and i was complete.  I tried a couple pushes lying down but it was pointless and super painful.  Somehow i talked myself into kneeling/squatting and then the pushing actually felt like a great relief and he was out a few contractions laterat 4:03 am.  Only had a tiny tear that doesn't need any stitches and feel like a million bucks compared to when I had Lor.  He is just perfect and has no signs of down's syndrome or any bowel issues.  We do still have to take him for a cystic fibrosis sweat test but my gut tells me he is just fine.  Loralei is an amazing big sister and we are enjoying every minute of these fleeting first days and weeks.

41w1d

Yes, I am still here.  I saw Trinie yesterday and had a non stress test which he passed with flying colors.  She did say that the u/s showed he has probably passed meconium and that is fairly common for post date babies.  Also the cord is around his neck once but that is seen in at least 25% of babies so just to watch for heart decelerations during contractions.  I feel pretty confident both are normal things and hey, on the bright side, his bowels aren't blocked like they were possibly thinking at 20 weeks.  :)  Trying to schedule some accupressure or something to try to get things moving.

40 weeks 6 days

Still here.  Still pregnant.  My mom and Gee Wee left after a great week.  Now Mike's parents are here thru next Sunday.  Had a biophysical done today and Michael passed with flying colors (8 out of 8) so we are just waiting some more.  They are estimating him at 8lb12oz and his head is measuring right at 41 and his arms and legs at about 41w4d.  Tall little guy for sure!  Nothing promising going on that would make me think labor was close.  They said there are no signs of any problems and his bowels still look great!  Here is a great picture of his sweet little face though...

40 Weeks

40 Weeks Today!

My mom and Gee Wee are here helping me and waiting for baby Michael.  I have absolutely nothing going on and am not being checked so not even sure how things are progressing.  Tomorrow is supposed to be super hot (90ish) so I am hoping he waits until Friday when it cools back down to fall weather so I can walk through my labor and enjoy nice fall air coming in the windows.  It will be sad if my mom and Gee miss it, but it has been nice having the distraction and help with Lor.  I see Linda (homebirth midwife) at 10:30 today and can't wait.  Trinie told me on Monday she would see me next week...ha ha...so she thinks he will be fashionably late as well.

I need a final 40 week picture...and will work on it later!